I'm tempted not to follow through on what I said last week, which was that I would discuss a song by The Format. As I posted over two months ago when we looked a fun.'s "Be Calm", Nate Ruess' tale of breakup and personal evolution is "spread across three separate albums and nearly seven years of music," which includes this song off of 2006's Dog Problems. However, part of me realizes we've been looking at a lot of music focusing on relationships-- and there is more diverse subject matter out there if you actually take a look.
So how about this? A relatively simple relationship song this week, then a song that has nothing to do with relationships next week. We'll get back to fun. and The Format in due time. Deal? Deal.
For now, though, here we go:
Matches
Ashes to ashes, dust on the dash
I got my cigarettes
But I can't find the fire that's calming me down
I was just out on a night with my friends
You are still out on a night with your friends
And you don't seem to tire when I'm not around
I'm under the tunnel now, holding my breath
I searched every pocket that hung in the closet
Until I found some matches in a brown leather jacket
One I swore I'd never worn, but it once kept you warm
Do you remember we made love on the floor?
And you still haven't called
So I wait 'til they're closing the bars
I made a wish, but the match never lit
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Not exactly the deepest lyrics, but I told you I was going for something simple this week. The music here actually does a lot more of the heavy lifting in terms of setting the mood.
Chronologically, we can place this song before "Be Calm". In "Be Calm", Ruess has moved to a new city and is attempting to get over a relationship; we can safely assume that that relationship is the one that he discusses here in "Matches". If the lyrics here are any indication, that relationship is running swiftly towards its end.
"Ashes to ashes, dust on the dash" is clearly a play off of "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" which is commonly said at funerals. Here, Ruess holds his own impromptu funeral, thinking about a number of different moments in his failed relationship and slowly getting more and more emotional about the whole thing. He searches for a match to light a cigarette to calm his nerves but can't find one: "I got my cigarettes/But I can't find the fire that's calming me down."
The second verse is one of my favorite parts of the song, as it exposes the dichotomy between the two involved parties simply by twisting one line. "I was just out on a night with my friends/You are still out on a night with your friends". And then the key line: "And you don't seem to tire when I'm not around". Not only are Ruess and his girl distant physically, hanging out with their separate groups of friends instead of with each other, but she seems full of life with him not there. She stays up and stays out much later when he's not with her, as if she's avoiding him. Meanwhile, Ruess waits for her to come home, leading to the later lines "And you still haven't called/So I wait 'til they're closing the bars".
As it gets later and later, Ruess loses it more and more, frantically searching through his closet for the matches he thinks will calm him down. If only he could heed his own advice from "Be Calm"-- but he's not at a point where he can do that, just yet. Instead, he comes across what he's looking for in a jacket "that [he] swore [he'd] never worn, but it once kept [his girl] warm." This brings back a flood of memories, and Ruess is at his most desperate when he asks "do you remember we made love on the floor?" The music, previously consisting of a sparse, simple carnival ditty in the background, suddenly swells up to accompany Ruess' state of mind. It's dizzying, and perfectly reflects the feeling you might get when thinking of the good times that you had with someone now out of reach.
The song ends with the simple statement "I made a wish, but the match never lit". What is Ruess' wish? That his relationship can revert back to something good? That he can finally break up with the girl once and for all and end his suffering? We don't get to know, but we see only that it doesn't come true; the match doesn't light, the cigarette that he thinks will lead him back to sanity instead remains unlit.
It's important to note that in the context of this one song, the relationship hasn't yet ended. It's not a breakup song-- those often carry with them strong emotions; either "fuck you, thank god I'm through with you", or else they idealize the other party and the relationship itself, with a message along the lines of "I can't believe I didn't appreciate what I had." "Matches" is neither of these, though. It's the inexorable, slow decay of a relationship that was once passionate and alive, with Ruess teetering on the precipice of what might be a total breakdown.
It's a great moment to immortalize, if not very fun. to experience.
For some reason, all this talk of bars and relationships remind me of a couple lines from Kevin Smith's Chasing Amy. The male and female leads, Holden and Alyssa, are lightly flirting with each other at a bar when they see a young couple outside making out on the hood of a car:
HOLDEN
Look at that, though - kind of gives you a little charge, to see two people in love. You've gotta respect that kind of display of affection. It's crazy, rude, self-absorbed - but it's love.
ALYSSA
That's not love.
HOLDEN
Says you.
ALYSSA
That out there...that's fleeting.
I'm not sure who I agree with on the subject, but given the content of "Matches", Nate Ruess would probably side with Alyssa, don't you think?
Still, isn't that crazy, affectionate, makeout, "making love on the floor" phase kind of the polar opposite of the slow descent into breakup? Two sides of the coin, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. Given that, it's probably love, but it's also a specific brand, a very fleeting kind of love.
The trick is learning how to make that initial spark last through the vast middle expanse.
And also to not be scared shitless by what it might lead to. I'm working on it. Before I come to any conclusions, I have a feeling I will owe a lot of apologies.
Either way, if I figure these things out, I will let you know how.
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